A MODEST PROPOSAL

XXXXXXX, thank you for contacting me. After 20 years of relentless work in the fields of design and illustration it is nice to hear that I am now considered an “influencer.” I’ve heard of brands contacting influencers, such as myself, looking to leverage our Instagram accounts to advertise their goods to an audience that is too savvy to be swayed by standard advertising. In this case it seems that you want me to advertise a design contest to other creative professionals where the winner takes home $10,000 after designing packaging for a major multinational brand valued at over $1 billion. The losers get nothing for their time because they are, after all, total losers.

I’m very familiar with the type of product you’re looking to have designed. Having, in the last several months, completed similar projects for Nike, Google, Coca-Cola, and Ford. Here is what I propose. Instead of asking the creative community to work for free. And instead of getting the type of low quality product that comes from free labor. I suggest you skip the contest and hire me directly. $20,000 should be enough to cover my time and the rights to international usage for one year. $30,000 for a straight buy out. Then once we’re done I can put the completed design up on my Instagram and influence some people to buy it.

I have time to start next week after I wrap a few things up. I look forward to hearing from you.

Dan Stiles